I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
