You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize