Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize