Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
