A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
