I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
