I'm going to jail i love you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
