i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
