My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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