GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize