I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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