Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
