i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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