how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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