No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
