Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
