so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
