He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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