Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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