so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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