Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
