soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Your shirt... Was in my pants
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
