Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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