I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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