You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
