i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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