I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
