that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sorry about my life...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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