i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
