I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
