Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
