Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
