It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize