I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
