that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
time to smoke my breakfast
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
