wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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