u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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