he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
