I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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