Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
