it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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