I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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