i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
