A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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