Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
