i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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