Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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