Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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