Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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