I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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