I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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