i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
