Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
