i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
A+ Viking dick
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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