the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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