Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think people are normalizing furries
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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