Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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