It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize