I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
