Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
my poor anus
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
